God clearly took me out of it and from getting feedback from those like you I am able to slowly pull back the rise colored glasses and see. Its just i was his girlfriend, of course i would be in his way of exploring with other women. ©2021 ESSENCE Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. You deserve much more than being used and emotionally abused. I was the only one there for him and i got treated the worst. I go out with my frien... My boyfriend gave me the silent treatment for three days. if he was still there, he would welcome your visit. He probably just enjoys male bonding, they speak a language he understands. He will be home in one month and he broke up with me because he wants to get his self together when he gets out but just a year ago he was telling me how much he loves me and he wants to be with me, get married and have a baby. The emotions he will have with this type of letter will encourage him to remain on good behavior so he can be released as soon as possible. He is in prison! Don't give this person anymore thought. I am confused, yes clearly the relationship is over but as to why is unclear. It wasnt just that he broke up with me, he doesnt want anything to do with me. Yes, he was in prison and is now on parole. I did a good thing by reaching out, but I allowed Satan to draw me in and attempt to destroy me. Now that he is coming home all that changed. Everyone else seemed to come before me. He would still like to be friends and he’s asked me to help him get a job and get back into school. Its hard and it hurts like hell. Still seeing each other, but for 2 years he's ... Can someone just stop loving you after 20 years together. Your boyfriend will love reading it and imagining the two of you in the story. I will take heed to that. That way, he can start living out the make-believe story and make it a reality. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. Thank you so much. But i guess that does say alot about his character and that is the hardest part to accept. 8 really Cute Things to Do for Your Boyfriend that You Could Do Too. How to stop loving someone and to stop contacting them? Your boyfriend flirting with other women has nothing to do with you. Life for someone in prison doesn’t change day to day. He has made it clear that he needs you to help him get a job and get back into school once he is out of prison. the advice i was looking for was anything that was obvious about what could have transpired to make him become so cold, something that i cannot see being that i am still emotionally involved and hurting over the betrayal. I am still baffled and in shock from all the pain this situation has caused me. He promised me he would never do that to me and couple of months after we started writing to each other, we began to talk on the phone and I found out he’s not a bad person and I also found out the real reason why he is in jail. Boyfriend was missing I surely miss him The way he'd hold me in his warm arms We went insane when we took cocaine. I had to ask to see him. he did get agitated at me just doing what girlfriends do. | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Essence.com Advertising Terms. by telling you a possible reason would only lead you to try and pursue him and you shouldn't. Well the truth is I would have hoped that I brought her up to see love and identify it, so would not have to tell her to not be with someone who is clearly not interested in love. he should only be thining oabout YOU when he gets out. If you are really tried of being hurt, take control of your life and walk away. I do not assume on here, just work with the information that is provided or ask question for clarification or to get deeper insight into the situation. Let it go. There is a little bit difference between going to jail and to prison. No where did it ever say that i was trying or wanted to get back with him. How could he stop loving me? It was unbelievable. Then on top of that, because i showed up at his house to talk to him (the day he ended it) he has led people to believe that i am crazy and that he thought i was going to try and kill him! He ignored me for 3 days and talked to everyone else but me. Anyone who’s been booked into jail can be located in the database, no matter the crime. This is unfortunate and the best thing for you to do is to simply forget it and go on with your life. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. I want to hear from you! I feel like he doesn’t want to let me go me but he says that at times I’m too emotional for him. About six years ago, my stepmother’s best friend asked me to uplift her son who was incarcerated. In order to make the transition as smooth as possible, also consider seeking out … He completely disrespected me in front of his family who did nothing and threw the line of lets just be friends. Does that mean you are wrong, of course not. He just lost interest all together. I know i will get through it one of these days. 10 years is a long time. When I can, I’ll send him money to help out with his son he had in a previous relationship. I was excited about this because I never really got any one on one time with him and was looking forward to this date sowe could really get to know each other. We're not saying your bae sucks if they can't afford to take you on fancy dates all the time. Thanks for reading. that could very well be possible. The Main Reason Your Boyfriend Flirts With Other Women. he'd rather hand out with a bunch of men (after 10 years of being confined with men) than to be with his woman. Fight for him? He was locked up, so he wants his freedom to explore, just imagine being locked up from you were 16 years, he was a child, so now that he is out, is like a child in a candy store, His self-esteem is shattered so any kind of criticism would be taken out of context. There are strict rules & guidelines around visitation, especially regarding dress code. My ex boyfriend has been released from prison on April 9th. Understand folks, prison is not just a place where a person goes to do his time, it is also where time stops, or passes him by. its been 3 months and the pain is still unbearable. She was so furious that she called him up and gave him a piece of her mind. My boyfriend is in jail at one place for a ticket violation once he either bond out for 326.50 or do the 17 days then he will be release to another jail site for … I'm still in shock and haven't fully accepted it. Background Informat... Can't let go after 4 years loving and 10 months suffering, Girlfriend left me in prison then slept with my friend how do I get over it, How can i get my ex girlfriend back when she gets out of prison. We are stuck doing the same thing every day for the allotted time given to us. However, a defendant charged with a crime that results in a prison or jail term is entitled to counsel. I just want the pain to stop and feel that it will happen if i understand the situation from an outside perception. A person like that does not change, not for you or anyone else, I feel sorry for the next one he attaches himself to, but you should feel happy you got to know the real him. Your idea sounds nice. MOA. this is not a man you should continue to waste your time on. Do You Need an Attorney to Get Out of Jail? I found out i was pregnant right after he got busted so the baby will be 4 months when he gets out. Something i cant do being that i am emotionally in it. I recommend that you seek individual therapy to understand and process how you allowed yourself to be used by this man. Its impossible to type everything that has happened but i could never take him back. I do everything he asks me to do but 3 years ago I found out that he speaks to other women behind my back. He was always telling me how no one was there for him and i did more than anyone did for him including his family who turned their back on him and friends did the same thing. Cold narcissist or a psychopath or any form of psychological disorder, that’s probably what has gotten him in jail in the first place. In fact, he has stated that you are not his type but there was something about you that made you special and made him want to talk to you for the past 6 years. Not much wasted except time. They use blame to feel better about themselves. When your friend gets a boyfriend, the biggest adjustment will be the fact that she's no longer 'free' all the time and available at the drop of a hat. It never got that far. WHen he got home, things were okay for about a month. If you have any questions related to bail bonding or why guys rescue crackwhores, don’t hesitate to call me at 804-833-2785 . First, confirm the tenant is, in fact, incarcerated. He waited for an excuse, the argument and then just turned Cold and ended it. I have been dating my guy for 10 1/2 years but we still are ... Crushing on high school girlfriend from 27 years ago. Now it’s your turn to sit in her chair…. how can i stop loving him? If you feel so strongly about it then I am with you. You gave him money, help take care of his child, and maintain regular contact. have you tried a more seriouse step at having sex. Initially, I had no interest because I didn’t know the real reason why he was in jail but as time went by I felt like a few kind words could really help him stay in good spirits. Give it up. Ask Dr. Sherry: 'I Waited Six Years For Him To Get Out Of Prison and Then He Just Broke Up With Me', You’ve seen celebrity clinical psychologist Dr. Sherry Blake, author of The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel Alone in Their Marriages keep the Braxton sisters calm on the hit show, Braxton Family Values. Instead of just telling he he put me through emotional abuse by saying and doing things to shatter my self esteem and boy did he do a number on it. Three months and you are still at this place, clearly you are doing something wrong, but i will not advice you to try and get him back, makes no sense. I kept blaming myself because i didnt understand how he could be like that to me when i meant him well and helped him out. Not only has he used you to get what he wants for six years, he plans to continue to use you. The frustrtation came out at the movies and we got into another argument. Plan visits to the jail as often as possible to see your partner. He knew you wanted love and he took advantage of your needs. I gotta find a way to let go and understand that he is not the person i thought he was. I thought it was best to wait till he got out for the relationship but he didnt want to. Get The Weekender in your inbox: So if he cares so much, why does it change when he gets out? Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. It explains why men will leave work to go to the pub and hang out with their mates while their women are lonely at home, makes no sense if you want a healthy family, but they do it. The fact that he is so mean it just speaks of his character and does not reflect you. maybe he is just not ready for a relationship. Now he is out, he has his freedom and the reward might no longer be of value. Love is blind and the desire for love is more blinding. Every emotionally abusive boyfriend worth his salt has a great hard luck story about his tough past — and, boy, does he tell it well. Not much of a loss. having a relationship now is not something he can handle now. now that he is out, he wants his freedom. I can understand why you feel confused and hurt. But if your S.O. These texts can start him thinking of you in a more sensual and sexy way. Someone had posted bail for Byron’s ex-boyfriend and law enforcement failed to warn her. So he is overwhelmed by it all, did not learn to resolve conflict, does not know how to control his tone, and generally apply self control where it is necessary, so he shouts and is always defensive. After that little argument, he ignored me for 5 days till i confronted him at his house. He didnt want me to touch him like i was a disease and he was soo COLD and cruel and emotionless. As Valentine’s Day is drawing nearer, more and more women start looking for things to do for a guy. Blamers are a type of narcissist with a huge ego. While you may love him, he has never loved you. Also, this will also help you understand why you are having a hard time seeing his game and letting go. When I can, I’ll send him money to help out with his son he had in a previous relationship. I knew of him when i was in grade school. It can also be harmless. It’s the fact that he’s fulfilling his ego to see if he “still has it” in the dating market, to get validation, not fully certain about the relationship, or curious about what is out there. Relationship with man who was in prison for 20 years. 1 decade ago. When he was released it was not just his imagination, or his expectation, it was now real, and in getting to see and know you up close, changed his mind. After he threw that friend line, he turned his back, and walked away waiving never turning back around. In fact, I would run away and not look back before he is released. 10 years is a long time. Coping with your spouse’s incarceration can be stressful and emotional, but with time, it should get easier to adjust to your new lifestyle. We finally scheduled a date to go see a movie. @rage21 Answer (1 of 4): When he gets out he is going to want a normal hot shower, nice clean clothing, a nice hot meal, and some action in the bedroom. Keep memories safe. The spontaneous hang-outs and drinks on a Friday night will become rare, but it doesn't mean you can't still hang out. I believe that it will be revealed to me the solid reason of why God took me out, I'm probably not in the emotional state to handle it. It's hard losing someone, even when they're still alive. You’re over this relationship and you only do yourself and him a disservice to stay in it out of a sense of obligation. You’ve broken up. By entering this site you declare His family asked him if he was sure and everything and he convinced us all that he was ready for this commitment. He can have all the space he needs. Should you really be sulking in a corner while he may be meeting other girls, or moving on with his life? I have even been disrespected by his family and so on. Offers may be subject to change without notice. I have no expectations its just over. Being lonely is actually the biggest hurdle in your road to recovery and getting over your ex boyfriend. believe it or not, the gay thing has come up alot from those whom are closer to me and know more in depth of the situation. I don’t know what to do because I love him but I don’t want him to keep hurting me. OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. But he do... Boyfriend did 10 years of federal prison. maybe he is just not ready for a relationship. I couldn't believe it! First, there was the viral long-form piece that brought her case into the public eye. im sorry to ask this but could he have turned gay. Direct your attention to what you love to do. i would never pursue him ever again. I am a single mom and has a married boyfriend. What kind of advice and suggestion do you need, this one seems pretty much cut and dry... As much as you would love sitting by yourself and staring at a book or scratching a piece a paper with mild fascination, remind yourself about the truth. While he was in prison he was lonely, you reach out and he reciprocated, he now has his freedom, he needs the space to explore this and you are in his way, so he will react to you in a negative way...both saying the same thing, I like RT...plenty of good advice on here. It hurt so bad that i found myself scared of the relationship falling apart. The sex is bomb. I thought i was close to his family but they cut me off just as cold and wouldnt help me get any closure. Your hurt and confusion are the result of you buying into a con artist game and being played. 2 years is a long time to be emotionally involved with someone for it to just end so abruptly with such hatred. Seeing each other for 6 years, broke up 2 years ago. When someone gets incarcerated, time stops. Find your happiness alone or with someone new. Go out for a coffee, and have a chat to help ease your tension. just go pick him up from the jail and give him a big kiss and go ...fck him! No, an attorney is not needed to post bail or to get a defendant out of jail. Even if you did do something wrong, no person with some values could be so cruel to another when breaking things off. I think it would break my heart if she was with someone like that for sure. I understand what you said and thanks for taking the time to explain what you felt to me. 4 thoughts on “Do You Visit Your Boyfriend in Jail After He Gets Arrested?” Leticia Alves April 22, 2017 at 7:21 am So I was talking to a guy for like 5 months, we were pretty close but not officially dating. I had tried to call him a while back and he hung up in my face. How can someone hurt you like that, because they are can, you and anyone else that comes along. We have broken up and got back together so many times. Of course he was going to say he loves you, wants to marry you, and have a baby by you.